


I Can't Get No. . .

by HadenXCharm



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Sex, Drama, Eavesdropping, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, New Relationship, Romance, Silly, grimmjow is a good bro, that smut tho!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-09 11:32:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HadenXCharm/pseuds/HadenXCharm
Summary: Renji's in heaven — he's finally taken the next step with his boyfriend, Ichigo! His life is perfect.That is, until he hears Ichigo tell his buddy:  "Renji doesn't satisfy me."





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured out that people like reading these trashy hokey drama fics a lot more than my serious works, sooo, here, what the hell. Here's some more silly drama smut.

Renji and Ichigo have been going out for a few months now — they’ve finally started having sex, and Renji is living the good life.

Cohabiting with a hot boyfriend, holding hands with his cute boyfriend, hanging out with the funny awesome boyfriend, and now they’re having sex too. He might actually die, he’s so happy.

He’s sort of had to take the lead and coax Ichigo into everything, since Ichigo’s not exactly sure of himself when it comes to romance. Renji knows Ichigo’s never dated anyone else, or slept with them, so as expected, Ichigo was really meek and shy about getting very physical at first — but they’d finally done it two weeks ago. It’s great really.

Renji’s loved him for such a long time, it was like a dream come true to really be able to be with him. I mean, c’mon — _boyfriend…? Ichigo?_

He doesn’t know if he didn’t anticipate it, but he was totally happy with him in the bedroom too. Even though Renji was kind of a wild guy, and even though Ichigo was kind of inexperienced, Ichigo is enough to satisfy him all on his own.

Even though he has to initiate a lot and actively seek Ichigo’s affection — because Ichigo doesn’t like to admit it, but he’s _a shy little bean —_ Renji knows Ichigo loves him back too. That’s the best part of it all. He’s amazed every time he sees Ichigo smile at being hugged or kissed, every time he gets flustered and angry and _blushy_ , every time Ichigo complains and nags but ultimately still spoils him and lets him have his way; it’s amazing to be able to hold that heart in his hands and be allowed to treasure it for his own.

Renji knows he was probably the one to fall in love first, but by the time he confessed, Ichigo must have already liked him back — because when he said the words, Ichigo’s face scrunched up in a scowl, he looked away and covered his mouth; but then he _blushed_  and told him he liked him too.

When Ichigo said that to him, he thinks he’d almost had a heart attack, it had pounded so hard.

They’d started to date after that, and Renji took things at Ichigo’s pace, because he wants to do things right. He went really slow and didn’t rush him, even if it was hard to wait sometimes. That didn’t mean Renji didn’t try to get Ichigo to cuddle and make out once in a while, but y’know, he wasn’t _pushy_ about it.  
  


 _‘I can’t believe I held myself back for so long!’_  
  


Renji’s a passionate guy, and it had kind of built up, waiting like that, so by the time they decided to do it, Renji _really_ wanted to do him.

Since Ichigo didn’t really know what he was doing even now after doing it a few times, Renji always ended up taking the lead and getting on top.

Their first time together was pretty great, as first times go.

He was pretty conscientious of Ichigo being a virgin, and went really cautiously. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Ichigo kept gasping each time Renji checked him, asked him if he was feeling fine.

“That hurt?”

“No,” Ichigo breathed, tight-lipped and flushed, stiff with modesty at laying bare underneath him, hesitant to spread his legs and show himself to him— _so innocent and shy._

“Still fine?”

“Yeah.”

And so they did it, and it was great. Renji wrapped them up together and holds onto Ichigo’s long lean body, sinking into him until they’re slotted against each other and his hips bottom out.   

Ichigo holds onto him and gasps in his ear as he moves them together.   _‘Happiness!’_  Renji was floating on a cloud, getting to fuck Ichigo at long last, getting to make love that night, then the next night too, and the next, and again—

It's been great ever since then. During the day, Ichigo lets him be soppy and affectionate moreso than normal — he cuddles up close behind Ichigo when he’s at the stove, Ichigo lets him lay his head in his lap when they’re on the couch together, he lets him kiss him whenever he feels like it. He doesn't pull away as much, doesn't shy back or react with a bad temper as much anymore— he lets Renji moon over him. 

Renji loves his life. He felt like hearts were floating around him wherever he went, buzzing in his ears. He’s in that happy love daze.   _Boyfriend, boyfriend, honeymoon stage with the boyfriend, making love every night and being mushy all day._ It’s literally the best.

He was repeating himself maybe, but Ichigo really does satisfy him — wild streetwalker Abarai Renji was satisfied with one easily-flustered and virginal blonde with a bad temper. Ichigo completely satisfies him.

So he’s shocked to death when he heard him say it — “Renji doesn’t satisfy me.”

 

    That’s the sound of a heart breaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I credit the basic elements of the plot to the knb aokaga doujinshi: 'Karisome Confection.'


	2. Chapter 2

Renji was in the shopping mall that afternoon, making a stop there on his way home from work — he wants to check out the Sunglass Hut for the new summer inventory.  

By chance, he saw Ichigo in one of the diners set in among the row of shops. _‘Aw, all by himself? He musta’ been shopping too.’_

Renji thought he’d surprise him by suddenly popping out or something, but when he went in and sat down at the booth just behind Ichigo, waiting for the right moment, he realized Ichigo hadn’t come here by himself after all.

Jaegerjaquez, Ichigo’s asshole friend, came back from the bathroom and threw himself back in the booth across from Ichigo. Renji grimaced, sighing through his nose. This guy isn’t his favorite among Ichigo’s buddies. He’s a humongous jerk, and has an even more humongous crush on Ichigo, not that an outsider could really tell, given how rude the guy is.

“So are you gonna’ spit out what’s on your mind already — ‘cause if you’re not, then fuck if I care.”

“Look,” Renji heard Ichigo say, and he sounded like he was gritting his teeth. “It’s hard to talk about, okay?” he begrudgingly admitted.

“But whaddid’ Abarai _do_ though?”

Renji’s attention perked immediately. Ichigo was upset? With _him?_ Usually when Ichigo was annoyed with him or mad, he made it known, _loudly_ _,_ just as Renji did in kind. Maybe something _serious_ was wrong. It’s not like Ichigo not to tell him things…

He squirmed a little, sudden doubt shooting through him.

“He didn’t do anything,” Ichigo sighed, sounding so tired and exasperated that Renji felt alarmed, because those words sounded exactly like — _‘It’s not you, it’s me.’_     “He tried his best, okay? . . . We’re just… having problems,” Ichigo trailed off, mumbling.

He frowned unhappily. If they were, these problems were news to Renji!   He’d thought everything was going perfect! He tried to think whether Ichigo’s been acting different lately, whether there’d been signs that he’d missed that would’ve told him Ichigo was unhappy.

“What kind of problems,” Jaegerjaquez said flatly.

“Like…” Ichigo was beating around the bush, and Renji can’t see, but he was probably fidgeting too.  “....” He mumbled something that Renji couldn’t hear, which just about drove him insane in that second before Jaegerjaquez told him to speak up.

“Whaddid’ you just say? Say that again.”

“Uhhh, I said… Renji,” Ichigo tried, trailing off gruffly, “... doesn’t satisfy me.”

Renji had taken an unfortunate swallow of his drink to try to calm his nerves, and when he heard that, he promptly began coughing.

It was quiet behind him for a couple seconds. Renji set his cup down with a clatter, taking a few unsteady breaths, staring forward.

Jaegerjaquez finally let out a bark of a laugh.

 _‘What?’_ Renji’s mind was in a whirl. _‘What?!’_  He can’t believe what he’d just heard — to be honest, that had sort of devastated him.

“You mean like in the bedroom,” Jaegerjaquez pinpointed, and then he began cackling again.

“Shhh!” Ichigo hissed frantically, but he admitted in a whisper, _“Yeah.”_

Renji’s jaw slackened in dismay.    _‘What?’_ he wondered, wrists on the tabletop. _‘Hold up, hold up, calm down.  What did he just say? Not satisfied? With_ me? _Huh? What did he just say?...’_

“But _how_ can you be havin’ problems — I thought you were a virgin before him.”

“We just are. And what’s that got to do with it?!”

“Well, in that situation, the only way the sex could be bad is if it hurt or something, right? You can’t just think he’s a bad lover. You’ve got no one to compare ‘im to. I know you don’t, you’re a total ice box,” Jaegerjaquez muttered, crass as ever.

“Don’t call me frigid.” Ichigo sighed then, gritting his teeth against his wounded pride. “Look, I’m only telling you about this because I can’t face anyone else. Him least of all. Sorry if you think it’s gross — I dunno’ what else to do.”

Renji felt upset hearing Ichigo say that he felt like he couldn’t be honest with him, but then again, if Ichigo had told him to his face that he thought he was bad in bed, he probably wouldn’t have taken it very well. It had to have been really bothering him to show Jaegerjaquez that much of a weakness — he must _really_ think the sex was bad.

“Nah, just surprised.”

Jaegerjaquez was still laughing on and off, dark satisfied snickering. “So he’s no good in bed, huh?”

And Renji was suddenly _crushed — ‘He tried his best, okay?’_ Ichigo had said, as if _he’d_ been the fumbling virgin and Ichigo had been putting up with him all along.

No one’s ever thought he was a bad lover before, and he didn’t like how it made him feel… So inadequate, so small and worthless.    What’s he done wrong? He’d thought Ichigo had been enjoying himself too, what’s he done wrong?

“Don’t laugh!” Ichigo snarled in embarrassment.

 _‘Rrgh! Jaegerjaquez!’_ Renji raged bitterly.

“Fine, fine, put your claws away,” Jaegerjaquez conceded, still sounding really amused.

Ichigo went on in a hesitant mumble, sounding truly pitiful. “I mean, it’s not like I’m that good either. I know that. So it’s probably not fair to complain…”

“Okay look, Kurosaki,” Jaegerjaquez said, clearly through with screwing around. “I’m gonna’ tell you this bluntly.”

“Alright?”

“Whatever’s gone wrong between you two, it’s all Abarai’s fault.”

“Eh?”

   _‘EHH?!’_ Renji clenched his fists to keep from jumping out right then and wringing that guy’s neck.

“He’s probably been makin’ you go along with how he likes it up until now — rough and selfish and not concerned with your needs. You’re not at fault at all, Kurosaki,” Jaegerjaquez tells him.

 _‘Stop assuming things!’_   Renji gripped the edge of the table in anger, grinding his teeth. _‘No way am I selfish in bed! I’m really gentle! I treat him right when we do it!’_

He’s always made sure Ichigo climaxes first. Every time they do it, Renji fucking _melts him,_ he pleasures him so much — he always does before he so much as puts it in! He’s never left Ichigo unsatisfied!

Well… That's what he'd always thought…

“But that’s…” Ichigo mumbled uncertainly, sounding glum, “I…”

“That’s what.”

“...” Ichigo stood up then, brushing him off. “Nothing. Whatever. Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Renji tries to act normal. He doesn’t know what else he can do.

After hearing everything Ichigo had said, it wasn’t like he’d been able to pop out like he’d planned — and it wasn’t like he could _tell_ Ichigo that he’d been eavesdropping, not without starting a fight.

Besides, this afternoon has already been bad enough, and telling Ichigo that he’d overheard that he’s actually thought he was bad in bed this whole time…? He’s not ready for that kind of humiliation.

So he tries to act natural as much as was possible, like he wasn’t upset and hurt and anxious to please Ichigo, to make sure he still loved him, wasn’t going to dump him for this.

He got home before Ichigo did and waited there by himself, unable to sit in one spot for very long. He tried to watch some TV, but kept getting up, pacing to the fridge, to their room, back to the couch, checking the time.

When Ichigo came through the door, Renji leapt onto the couch and arranged himself casually, gazing at the TV. He cast a side eye towards his boyfriend as he came in and took off his shoes and jacket.

“I’m home.”

“Welcome back,” Renji droned.

“You eat yet?” Ichigo asked, hanging up his coat, standing there looking at him, sprawled out across the sofa.

“No.”

“I did already, but I’ll make something if you want.”

“Sure, thanks.”

Things go on as usual, but Renji scrutinizes every word, every action, searching for anything out of place. When Ichigo brings him a plate around twenty minutes later and sits down next to him, Renji eats his food and keeps glancing at Ichigo suspiciously.

In moments like this, Renji would usually scoot over to him, cuddle against him, or even tease that he wants Ichigo to feed him, but now his ego was too wounded and he felt like he couldn’t do any of that, couldn’t be close to him — he felt _unwanted._

Unable to stand it any longer, Renji blurted, “Hey.” Ichigo looked up. “Gimme’ a kiss,” he demands, testing him.

Ichigo does, leaning in and kissing him once on the mouth.

As he pulled back, Renji stared him in both eyes. Ichigo retreated a little bit, frowning and fidgeting self-consciously. “... What?” he wondered at last.

Renji promptly looked away. “Nothing.” He immediately regretted it, because Ichigo has a really sensitive bullshit meter, and was now giving him a suspicious look of his own.  “... What?” Renji says defensively.

“Nothing!”  
  


Renji was less handsy than usual that night; he was still really hurt and confused, feeling insecure. When they got into bed though, he does what he always does — he rolled on top of Ichigo and started kissing his neck, coaxing his stiff body to mold to his, because by that time, he's sick with that feeling and is determined not to let it trouble him.

 _‘Unsatisfied!’_ he thought angrily, but blocks it out, blocks out the shame and the anger and the _hurt,_ because like hell is he going to let that ruin things.

He’s enough! He’s great in bed, he knows he is!

In his effort to do his best and get Ichigo to really feel it, maybe he got a little overzealous, because Ichigo was squirming and gritting his teeth. Renji bites and squeezes, digs his fingers in while he pleasures him, opening him up slow.

At last, Ichigo puts his fist in Renji’s hair and really yanks — not in a sexy way either. Gut clenching up in rejection, Renji stubbornly digs his teeth in harder, rubs a little more on Ichigo’s insides with his fingertips, because _no_ _,_ he’s not bad, don’t tell him to stop, Ichigo’s supposed to _like_ it—    

“Owch!” Ichigo shouts, and yanks more, shoves at his head roughly to get him away. _“Ow,_ what the fuck, stop it!”

Renji let go and retreated a little.

Ichigo sat up, pulling his legs in close to him, glaring at him unhappily. “What is _wrong_ with you tonight?!” he demands, rubbing his buttcheek where Renji had bit.

Renji doesn’t trust himself to say much, doesn’t want it all to come spilling out, doesn’t want to start shouting, so hurt and defensive and _no, don’t stop liking me, why don’t you like it, I thought...I thought—_

So all he does is mumble, “Nothing,” dark and low and honestly, he knows he sounds openly salty _._

Ichigo stares him down, face hard and searching, clearly _not_ amused with that response. “Did something happen? Are you pissed at me?”

 _“No,”_ he spits petulantly, and something in Ichigo’s face closes off. His voice gets sharp too.

“Are we having angry sex, because if we are, I want to stop.”

“No,” Renji insisted, trying to pull himself together. “We’re not.” He sighed then, rubbing his face, and then asked, a little softer, because he’s trying, maybe he needed to communicate better or something— “... Where do you want me to touch you?”

“I want you to fucking get on with it,” Ichigo muttered, and Renji’s shoulders drop — _because fuck, that really fucking hurts, Ichigo's trying to get it over with, isn't he—_

Renji grits his teeth and gets on top of him and shoves it in, and okay, maybe it was a little bit like angry sex, because usually when they do it, he’s _happiness_ and _complete_ and _perfect,_ and now he’s hurt and unsure and he’s _rough,_ and it’s awful.

They do it, and it’s really bad. It felt manufactured and forced. Renji made himself keep going even though he can barely stay hard enough to make it stay in. He’s able to force an orgasm eventually, but it’s _bad,_ they lay together afterwards like usual, but he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to hold Ichigo or fix things, how to make them go back to how they were before.  
  
Ichigo rolls away from him afterwards and Renji swallows hard, but scooted up behind him and held onto his back, nuzzling his face onto his shoulder. Usually it doesn’t bother him that Ichigo is hesitant to cuddle back, but this time it hurts, he feels sick in his gut.

He felt unloved, he felt not good enough — is Ichigo gonna’ dump him? Was he thinking that this was all a mistake?

Ichigo put a hand onto his where they were clasped in front of his stomach, holding them together. Ichigo placed his hand there on his and rubbed it, squeezed and pet it, slow and loving — but Renji doubts. He lays there awake and he fears and he doubts.


	4. Chapter 4

Renji might be a little obsessed, and he might be acting almost like a _stalker,_ but he’s messed up over this, okay?

Yeah, that’s why he’s following Ichigo at a distance without him knowing.

It’s not like Ichigo hadn’t told him where he was going. He’d said to him earlier that he was going to hang out with Jaegerjaquez for a while, and Renji had returned a grunt of faked disinterest — then once Ichigo shut the door, he’d leapt off the couch and rushed out after him.

He’s not sneaking around, he _has to do this_ — to save their relationship!

Renji wanders around while Ichigo and Jaegerjaquez walk through the mall, and tries not to get too riled up that the guy keeps trying to buy Ichigo stuff. He usually tries to keep any jealousy to a minimum — it’s not like he’s had any real chance to get jealous since they’ve been going out for less than a year still, but now that he felt insecure and inadequate and _awful,_ watching them is hard. Seeing them walking side by side, he felt a sudden hot possessive flash, and it’s dark and it’s _ugly—_ he wants it to stop, he wants to go back to how it was, to when he was oblivious and floating on a cloud, so full and happy that he thought he might burst.

Maybe that’s what happened. The bubble had burst.

Eventually the two of them settled down to get some food, and Renji followed them, sitting nearby, just out of Ichigo’s line of sight.

“So are things still shit?” Jaegerjaquez eventually asks, _Renji hears him,_ and he knows that Ichigo’s still upset over it too, because he seemed to have been waiting for him to say something. His shoulders rise a little bit, and he doesn’t look at Jaegerjaquez face, but he still nods.

“Ah, poor fool.” Jaegerjaquez claps a hand onto Ichigo’s shoulder, and even though Ichigo shrugs away, Renji felt his hackles raise, no, don’t _do_ that, don’t touch him, he’s only supposed to like it when _I do that, how come you get to touch him when he's unsatisfied with me, why are you doing this to me—_

“Don’t look so down about it. I’ve thought about it, and there’s a solution.” Ichigo looked up, frowning, but his eyes were eager.

“Eh?”

 _‘EH?’_ Renji clenches his fists, holding his breath.

“Just break up with that red-hair guy,” Jaegerjaquez says bluntly, and made eye-contact with Renji. He must have known he was following for some time — what, he’s gonna’ fuck with him now?  
  


  _‘You bastard, Jaegerjaquez!’_  Renji grit his jaw, almost shooting up in his chair.  
  


“You shouldn’t have to put up with that, Kurosaki,” Jaegerjaquez tells him, and Ichigo’s shoulders slump. He looks away and rubs his neck a little, seeming glum and embarrassed, almost timid, which wasn’t like him at all.   “Look at you, it’s pathetic,” he spits, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Makes me wanna’ sock you one.” Ichigo groans in frustration.

Renji was at his breaking point, honestly — he doesn’t think his pride, or his heart for that matter, could take much more. He’s a resilient guy, and pretty manly as men go, but he’s sensitive, okay? He needs love like anyone else, doesn’t he? He can only bear so much humiliation before getting discouraged!

“Dump that small-dick loser as soon as possible.”

He’s probably only saying it because he knows Renji’s right there and he wants to get some kind of reaction, or maybe he wants Ichigo to say something bad that will fuck things up between them, because he’s a jerk like that — Renji knows it shouldn’t bother him, but it does, _dump him, break up with that guy—_

That’s when Ichigo defends him, and it’s probably the only thing that keeps Renji from getting up and doing something, he doesn’t know what — storming out, hollering at them, _crying_ into his iced tea like the miserable sonuvabitch he is—

“No way!” Ichigo blurted, sounding indignant and _offended_ for him, which made Renji sniff his sadness back up until he can taste it in his throat, _fuck you, tears—_ “Even so, I still like Renji,” Ichigo admitted, even though he sounded a little more gruff and bashful a moment later. Renji bit his lips together as he listened.

“He’s always been a good friend to me. It’s true that we get on each other’s nerves a lot, but…” He looked away then, scratching at the back of his head. “Since I started going out with him, we’ve gotten even closer — he’s really loyal, and supportive.”

He stared at his pretzel cheese, glaring at it and pouting his lips out as he grumbled, “He loves me a lot.”

Twisting his mouth up, he admitted, “An’ I care about him too — so I’m not gonna’ break up with him.”

Renji stood up from the table, staring at Ichigo, heart pounding, jaw slack.

“Kurosaki,” Jaegerjaquez said flatly, whether to alert him to Renji’s presence or to tell him to knock off the sappy shit before he spews across the table, he doesn’t know.

Ichigo wasn’t listening to him, tugging on his ear now, sounding a little uncertain again. “Well, if I’m thinking there’s something wrong with our sex life, then he must think so too… What do I know about it anyway — if he wants to break up, then I’m probably the one at fault…”  


  _‘You—! Fuck, you- you-!’_  
  
  
   Renji inhales sharply and _grabs_ Ichigo’s shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Renji stood up from the table — after hearing Ichigo’s earnest and _loving_ defense of him, he can’t control his heart!

And _what the fuck, Ichigo,_  of _course_ he doesn’t want to break up?! He didn’t even know that Ichigo thought something was wrong between them! He’d thought the sex was good and that Ichigo agreed, he didn’t know that Ichigo didn’t feel the same — and he _really_ hadn’t known that Ichigo had thought it might be his fault! How could Ichigo _think_ that? Had he made him feel that way?... 

He grabbed Ichigo and whipped him around, and shouts harshly, _“Ichigo!_ There’s no way I’d break up with you!” — because he’s so _stupid,_ what a dummy, how could he _think_ that, doesn’t he know he _loves_ him?

“Renji?!” Ichigo sputtered, understandably surprised — in fact, he looks like he’d just had a goddamn stroke, he was so startled.

It gets worse a second later when it sets in that Renji had been eavesdropping and had heard everything he said. Ichigo's never said anything that nice to his face, and probably hadn't meant for him to know any of that. He looks absolutely _mortified —_ and then he’s mad too.He’s completely red, sweaty, mouth contorting in embarrassment, and fuming at the ears.

Jaegerjaquez just leans back, giving Renji a smirk, as if this had been his plan the whole time, the smug bastard. Was this that jerk’s way of trying to _help_ or something?   — _He’d taunted him out into the open, hadn’t he, and he’d fucking fallen for it!_

That doesn’t matter now though, because Renji’s a man, and men aren’t afraid to make important romantic declarations to the one they love — “Ichigo, listen to me,” he tells him firmly, “If something was wrong between us, you should have told _me_ about it, not this jerk! Be open with me!”

Ichigo stares up at him, mouth open as he listens. “I can’t read your mind! You have to tell me these things so that I know what you want! Don’t go to others — I’m your boyfriend, we’re supposed to work it out together, aren’t we?!”   When Renji concluded his very manly and heartfelt speech, Ichigo looked touched for one solitary second.

“Renji…”   Then his face started getting really flushed again and his teeth started gritting, shoulders rising. Renji frowned in confusion.

“Yeah?”

“Dude,” Jaegerjaquez said.

Ichigo puffs himself up, flustered and furious. “Consider where you are when you’re screaming stuff like that!” he hollers. Renji glances around the food court blandly. There _were_ a couple people staring.

“Whatever!” he announces. “Let’s go home!” — and he drags Ichigo with him. Jaegerjaquez is laughing behind them, the bastard genius.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is short and ridiculous so i won't be stingy, have another update

“You have an explanation for any of that?” Renji demands when they get home. 

“So you heard everything I said then, huh,” Ichigo sighed, looking embarrassed but resigned.

“Well, yeah…” Renji felt a little sheepish too, because he had gone kind of crazy there, following them around and spying.

“Sorry for talking about our private life,” Ichigo apologizes, turning away, the backlighting from the kitchen casting a shadow across his back. He grips the hair on the back of his neck and Renji watches him twist it in his fist.  “... You’re mad, right?” he eventually comes out with, voice bitter and small.

Renji walks around him to his light side, finds his face surprisingly open and sad. “Look, I’m not mad about that,” he tells him, tentative and uncertain, trying to comfort him.  When Ichigo just stared at his feet, lips pursed in an unhappy grimace, Renji grabbed him by the face, squeezed it, made him look at him. 

— And Ichigo must be feeling really pitiful too, because he never would’ve let him manhandle his face like that otherwise, wouldn’t let him smoosh his cheeks together like that. When Ichigo’s eyes land on his, they’re young and scared and  _ don’t be mad, don’t pull away from me, do you still love me, _ and everything that Renji’s been feeling since he heard those awful words a few days back.

“Stop worrying about stuff on your own!” Renji insists loudly, aggravated to see that look on Ichigo’s face. He’s supposed to be the confident one, the one whose heart was unaffected and thick and hard as a rock, he’s always been stronger than Renji and he’s supposed to stay like that, perfect and unbreakable, like a diamond —  _ beautiful. _

“I know I’m the first person you’ve ever done it with, so if something’s not right, you’ve gotta’  _ tell _ me that stuff! Don’t just assume that you don’t know better and that you’ll get  _ used _ to it or something— you’re supposed to like it, and if you don’t, then something’s wrong!” Renji shakes him a little, watching his face jiggle and squash where he held it, watched Ichigo blink and frown at him, so young, so small and innocent, he’s so powerful holding this heart in his hands, a young boy’s first love—  _ he can break it so easily, and he can protect and cherish it, it’s something precious—  _

“Don’t worry about troubling me! What the fuck is wrong with you, suffering silently about something this important! You never do that!” Renji’s squeezing harder and harder as he rants, because deep down, he thinks he knows why Ichigo didn’t say anything to him about it, even though he usually never lets Renji do as he likes without any nagging. He must have wanted to make him happy, and had just went along with him — it ticks Renji off, to think that he’d been trying to put on a brave face just for his sake.

“How am I supposed to improve if you don’t say shit!” he scolds.

“Sorry,” Ichigo squeaked out through his smushed lips, and he looks meek and guilty, unsure of himself. Renji stands there and sticks his lip out at him in a dismayed frown, upset

_ ‘I never know it before going out with him, but I love that vulnerable side of him. He’s this innocent kid, and he’s surprisingly soft even though he tries to act like a tough guy. He does have a strong heart, but the inside, if you can reach it— he's sensitive.’ _

Renji huffs through his nose— and then he kisses him.

“Well,” he said, after yanking Ichigo’s face away from his and letting go of his cheeks at long last, “Let’s go.”

“Huh? Where?” Ichigo blurted, bewildered and stiff all over, pink up to his ears, still bright-eyed and heartbreakingly open and  _ thoroughly kissed—  _

“To bed,” Renji teased, and Ichigo jumps a little bit in surprise, shoulders jolting up, head like a porcupine. “Obviously.”

“Wh—!” 

When they’re in and Renji has kicked the door shut and sat crosslegged on the bed, waiting for Ichigo to drift over in flustered hesitation to sit beside him. “So…” This is going to be the hard part, because honestly, he still felt sort of bad about himself after hearing that Ichigo thought he was a bad lover, but  _ he wants to improve, so—! _

“I don’t satisfy you?” he muttered awkwardly. Ichigo ducked his head, and Renji can visualize little puffs of steam coming off his head, he’s so pink. “... What’s the matter?” he tried, scooting closer, as if to beg him to tell him how to be better,  _ all he wants to do is to please him, earn his love—  _

“I thought I was your first time, so it can’t be that I’m… too  _ small _ for you,” he wondered uncertainly, because he’s never had cause to doubt his physical gifts, but he’d never thought he was bad in bed either, so he had to ask! 

“No!” Ichigo blurted, promptly clamming up again.

That was a bit of a relief, he had to admit, but—  “What then,” Renji wondered in bewilderment, because it’s still a mystery to him even after racking his brains and going crazy trying to figure out where he went wrong.  “Did I do something you don’t like?... Am I… too rough on you?” he grit out, because that’s the thought he can’t bear most of all — because Ichigo’s tough, but Renji doesn't want to hurt him when they're getting intimate,  _ never _ — 

“No,” Ichigo muttered, and he won’t look at him, so Renji didn’t believe him. 

“Fuck, have you been suffering through it?!” he burst out, because the thought of Ichigo lying there, trying to bear through painful sex just to keep him content, he can’t live with it, it gets him choked up—  _ goddamnit, is that why Ichigo had told him to get on with it before? _

Feeling panicked and sick, Renji reached out to him, and he’s surprised to feel his hand shake, surprised to hear how wrenched his voice was. “Did it hurt? Have I been  _ hurting  _ you?” he squeaked out, throat tight with horror, because that had to be it.

“No, you’ve got it wrong!” Ichigo told him, and even though he sounds embarrassed, he’s firm, which calmed the sudden vicious  _ ache _ inside Renji’s chest.  “Don’t be a jackass — as if I’d let you hurt me!”

“No? You swear?” Ichigo nodded. Renji exhaled in relief. “... Oh,” he breathed softly. “Then what?”

Ichigo obviously didn’t want to tell him, because he went back to looking away and he started  _ squirming _ , but at last he mumbled, “...”

“Huh?”

Ichigo took a breath, and then blurted,  _ much louder—  _  “Too short!”

“...?! Too…” Renji blinked, taken aback. “Huh?!”

“We do it and then you just go to sleep!” Ichigo practically wails, hands fisted on top of his thighs.

“Eh, wait a second?...”         Was Ichigo saying his stamina was no good?... 

Red-faced and wild-eyed, Ichigo forced through scowling stuttering lips, “I know you hold off because you’re trying to be gentle, but I want to… to keep going!”

“For real?” Renji just kept staring in bewilderment, pointing as if to try and find where he’d lost track of this conversation.   “... Sorry, I’m not sure what’s going on here—”

Ichigo looked miserable then, yanking on his bangs, cheeks hot with shame and mouth contorted in a grimace, his brow heavy and creased. “It’s okay, I know it’s probably not a lot of fun,” he mumbled. “I’m boring. I lay there and I don’t know what to do, so you try to get it over with.” Renji gaped at him, open-mouthed and flabbergasted.

“But!—” He looked up then, seeming to have resigned himself to the humiliation. “Renji, I know about your past before me, and I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to show that side of yourself to me, to— to _teach me,”_ he hollered, making himself admit it, “but you always pull away and then it’s over! And you pretend like it’s enough, and it’s _not!”_

“Well of course I could go for longer!” is what comes out of Renji’s mouth, because he’s kind of a bumbling idiot at times. That’s what he says, even though there’s plenty of more important things to say right then, like  _ I like embracing you, I like leading things, you’re not a dead fish, I’m just trying to spoil you, and what the fuck, since when did you want me to teach you, and it is  _ too _ enough, but fuck, you wanted to go for longer? We could’ve been doing it for longer and I’ve wasted that many times we could’ve done it, what the fuck—  _

_ “That’s what I’m saying! Do that!” _ Ichigo screeches, because he’s still yelling, but he’s so embarrassed that his voice is rising more and more and now he’s getting kind of squeaky, his voice cracking a lot like it did when he was younger. 

Renji just stares at him. “Wh—” He blinks, and finally, feeling a little silly for all the worrying he’d done, he says, “I didn’t know.”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever been with, so I know I have a lot of catching up to do,” Ichigo huffs, staring at his lap, finally settling down a little. Renji watches his fists curl up in his lap, shy and uncertain and retreating towards his stomach. “I guess I always expected you to go crazy on me— or, or to be  _ dirtier _ or something, y’know… like… I thought you’d expect more, but you’re always focused on me and never ask me for anything. So I never know what to do.” 

He took a slow breath, and then really quietly, head hanging, he tells Renji, “I want you to show me how.” Renji stared, speechless.   
  


_   ‘Fuck, this is crazy, I am so turned on — I’m really excited.’  _   
  


Perhaps thinking he’d gone too far, Ichigo squirmed madly and grit out, “Please, Renji, not all the time — I know I’m an amateur.” He fidgeted, picking at his fingernails, and kept casting uncertain glances up to him, growing dismayed with his silence. 

“Maybe just once, do me until you have no stamina left,” he hisses. “I don’t talk about it, but I want to please you too, ya’ know. Just once let me have a chance to try and take it until you’re worn out.”   
  


__ ‘Fuck, what the fuck is going on— what was that. What the fuck did my heart just do.’  
  


Renji just stared, feeling himself salivate near to the point of drooling, and he took a long gasp, goggling at him some more, so anxious and squirmy and flushed, but his eyes  _ burn _ , hard and eager with determination.   
  


Oh fuck, he could weep— weep very  _ manly  _ and rugged tears of affection.

 

_ ‘Dear pleasure gods, haven’t checked in for a while; thank you for giving my lover such curiosity and erotic shyness. I am truly blessed — my gratitude will last my entire life.’ _   
  


Ichigo lost confidence with the long silence, at last biting his lip and scowling, making to get up and escape, maybe swipe across his eyes to hide them and go lock himself in the bathroom to rage and hit stuff and— not  _ cry _ , but, y’know, sweat pure rage from his eyeholes.

—but Renji  _ grabs _ him.

Kind of hard, because they flop over into the bed and Ichigo yelps,  _ “Wah!” _ breathing hard as Renji bears over him and presses them together, holding him and leaning their faces close. He watches Ichigo gulp, eyes flickering down to his lips, his tongue nervously flicking out across his dry mouth.   
  


Ah fuck, Ichigo, Ichigo,  _ Ichigo,  _ boyfriend— __  boyfriend, such a good boyfriend—   
  


“You really had me scared when I heard you say you were unsatisfied,” Renji admitted, but he gives a slow smile, predatory and happy,  _ happiness, too much to bear—  _

“What you really meant was that  _ you  _ wanted to satisfy  _ me,” _ he realizes, and  _ fuck, he’s so turned on, look at Ichigo sweating and shivering, he was right, wasn’t he—  _

“You want me to go all out on you, huh? Till I’m at capacity? You sure about this?— I can go till the sun rises,” he breathes, dark and low, and Ichigo actually  _ shudders _ , the hair puffing up on his head and his neck and his arms, his body growing stiff and tight underneath his.

Ichigo gulped, his breath ragged and choppy,  _ and he doesn’t deny it— he looked so excited, so ready to be ravished— _

“Fuck, I’ve been selling you short,” Renji teased. “I didn’t wanna’ scare you when you’re still a beginner. I didn’t know you were so…  _ wild,”  _ he breathes lustily after giving his teeth an eager lick.

Ichigo looked flustered enough to have a heart attack, his mouth shut and his cheeks full of air, completely clammed up, sweat beading on his brow.

Renji slowly smirked, because he’s adorable and so goddamn sexy that he can’t stand it— Ichigo let out this little  _ ‘eep’ _ sound.

He shrunk back when Renji leaned in really close to his ear, breathing over the shell, enough that he actually chokes on a moan. 

“Lemme’ give this another try an’ I’ll show you all my passion,” Renji hums. “Makin’ love all night, huh?—  _ I like it when you’re romantic.” _

“Fuck, kill me!” Ichigo finally gasps, panting for it, trembling with excitement— 

And Renji puts him out of his misery, ready to take a bite out of him right there, because he likes having to coax Ichigo out of his shyness, but the enthusiasm is  _ really— goddamn— satisfying. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAaaaaaamn *fans self*

Renji pleasures Ichigo until he thinks neither of them are breathing anymore— Ichigo’s practically choking, hardly able to get a breath even to moan, body straining and shaking, and Renji smothers himself, _eats his ass like it’s his goddamn job— he really loves it, he’s always loved doing this—_

He can’t feel his fucking face anymore, not much more than the sensation that his cheeks and his nose are wet, feeling cool whenever he pulls back for a breath of air and to spread him out and take a look, _fuck, look at him,_ before he seals his mouth again and presses Ichigo’s cheeks around his face until he's lightheaded and he literally might pass out because he can't breathe— _it’s great—_ he’s drippy, sloppy and wet, he does it till his chin is dripping and he thinks he’s going to suffocate himself in Ichigo’s ass— he does it until his tongue hurts and that pucker is pink and wet and quivering, giving so easily beneath his fingers and his mouth.

Ichigo squirms and grips the bed and grabs behind him at Renji’s head, he fists his hands in his own hair and groans and gasps and _whimpers— goddamn, his moans, fuck, it’s so sexy—_

“You ready for me?” Renji gasps at last, pulling back when his tongue feels so numb that he sounds drunk— he doesn’t even wipe his face, he doesn’t want to stop, honestly, he could do that all night, eat Ichigo out and touch himself, _fuck—_

“Yeah,” Ichigo pants, he’s sounds exhausted already, like he hardly knows what’s going on, Renji can see his body shaking, teased to the point where he’s humping the bed and his hair is dark with sweat.

“Then spread yourself open and show me,” Renji says, spitting into his hand and stroking himself, running his other hand along the plane of Ichigo’s back, the swell of his ass. He knelt there above him, panting and looking at the mess he’s made of him.

“It’s embarrassing,” Ichigo breathes, red and gasping.

“Use your hands and hold yourself open, so I can see how turned on you are— _show me how dirty you are,”_ Renji pants, putting on the condom. “You should’ve told me sooner that you wanted me to rail you all night long — I would’ve given you what you wanted. From the start, I would’ve loved you right,” he gasps in anticipation and when Ichigo grits his teeth and reaches back and does it, pull himself apart for him, Renji straddles his back, seals their bodies together, mouth right against Ichigo’s ear, face in his damp hair, his chin on his shoulder.

“Haaa- aah,” Ichigo gives a moan, but he’s so out of breath that it’s really a gasp—  “Aaah,” he cries.

“I love that face,” Renji whispers, bringing it to his so he can kiss his slack lips. _“So lewd—”_

He puts it in, and _fuck, it’s good, he loves the feeling of breaching—_ Ichigo clenches around him so tight, so sudden and sharp that Renji thinks he must have already cum right then.

Ichigo’s silent and open-mouthed, straining.  “Are you sure you can endure it,” Renji breathes, fascinated, arms around Ichigo’s upper chest as he heaves for air at last. “You’re already like this…”

“Because you— you teased me so much!” Ichigo growls out in frustration, and then gasps when Renji presses his hips down in a slow grind. “Annh— _fffha—_ fuh- _... gha—!”_

He can feel Ichigo orgasming around him again— grits his teeth against it, the sharp sweet burst of pleasure as his dick is squeezed by Ichigo’s soft squishy insides.

“Look at you, clenching around my cock like you don’t wanna’ let me back out,” he hummed. Ichigo lays there after his climax, eyes having fallen shut, he just lays there and pants like he’s feverish— he grips Renji’s hand when he intertwines their fingers and squeezes. Unexpectedly, Ichigo seems to like being treated like this — Renji hadn’t thought he'd be this much of a mess already, he is really gonna’ ruin him, _wreck him—_

Renji strokes his hair gently, his sweet sweaty head— _he’s precious, Renji loves him so dearly, look how perfect he is—_ Ichigo’s panting so heavily, moaning for him on his next breath. “Will you stahh-” he gasps, “Stop screwing around already!”

He’s a gasping sweaty mess as Renji turns him over, and look at him, he’s already cum all down his front. He's looking so worn out, but he still glares at Renji, gives him the evil eye, he's so fucking hot like that—

“You’re such a mess already,” Renji hums, licking his lips. “You’re so sexy…” He lubes him up some more, pulling out and inserting the tip of the lubricant tube right there and squeezing it to get him wet and slippery so he can fuck him good— _he’s gonna’ really stuff him._  
  
“You really wanna' keep going?” Renji checks, just to be sure, because Ichigo’s already cum a couple times now and he looks run ragged— but Ichigo nodded, eyes hooded and face a sweat-streaked mess. He nods, panting, and when Renji takes his face in his hand, Ichigo sticks out his tongue and kisses him, wet and warm.

“I won’t hold back then,” Renji promises, their lips running together.

Renji starts slow, Ichigo’s ankles up on his shoulders as he gradually builds in force until Ichigo’s gripping onto him, his open mouth gasping against his with each thrust bouncing his body. “Fuck, yeah, claw up my back, baby, oh fuck, so good— love this, you— you’re so good,” Renji breathes onto his lips as Ichigo begins moaning, each blow punctuated with a sharp gasp. He let Ichigo’s legs down and held them apart, plowing into him, rough wet smacking echoing in his ears as their bodies stick each time they meet.

Ichigo was practically seizing up, eyes flying open, his mouth hanging slack, saliva running down his chin as he scrabbled and ripped up Renji’s back with his fingertips, hooking his short nails in and dragging them, _clawing at his shoulders— fuck, he loves that, gives him shivers, fuuuck—_

 _“Ffuh-_ Deep—” Ichigo gasps, “Deep, _de-heep, it’s—”_

He’s loving it, Renji can feel how he loves getting fucked like this, loves how hard they’re making love, his insides are squeezing and clenching his cock so nicely— _ah_ _,_ Renji never thought to do it to him like this, with such abandon, and look at how Ichigo loves it — he’s never imagined him like this, so lewd, _he’s so sexy._

“Good? You like it? When I fuck you like this?” he breathes, hips pounding onto Ichigo’s, his cock so wet and slippery, sliding so easily that he can go as fast as he wants, practically slips out when he pulls back and then flies back in, slapping down to the base, _fast, fast, the smacking sound is so loud and sticky, so erotic—_

“You like this?” Renji’s got his forehead pressed to Ichigo’s so he can push kisses onto his wet mouth, so he can smother his moans, feel the way they vibrate in his own mouth, buzz against his tongue.

“Yeah, so good, fuck,” Ichigo tried, “Ah Renji—” he cried out in that wobbly voice and Renji seized up for a second and _bites him_ _,_ not hard enough to pierce the skin, but _fuck, he almost came—_

Ichigo does cum, he can feel the way his insides squeeze and pulsate erratically and _suck at him,_ fuck, _it sucks him inside—_

“Ah, Ichigo, you’re amazing,” he pants heavily, coming to a slow, and damn, he’s winded after fucking him that hard without a break, the muscles in his back are gonna’ ache tomorrow— “Fuck,” he wipes his mouth with a rough gasp, “Fuck, it’s so good— I… Fuck, Ichigo, gimme’ more,” he begged, kissing his slack face, he’s so sexy, look at him, such a mess, making him build up a sweat, _making him fucking work for it—_

He grabs his face and kisses him, makes Ichigo’s mouth seal onto his, humming into it and pressing their lips together hard, because, gah—   _fuck,_ he loves him!

When he pulls back, Ichigo lays there and pants like an animal left out in the sun, and his face is wonderful like that, so debauched, so open and free, streaked with spit and tears brimming in his eyes—

Renji goes to put it back in, but Ichigo raises a hand to stop him, limp and floppy, but enough to place it between them onto Renji’s chest. “Hold on,” he whispers, chest heaving with gasps. “Hold… hold-”

“Huh?”

Ichigo just lays there, swallows, licks his lips, and keeps panting, eyes closing.

“Ichigo, what,” Renji nudges him, and he sees Ichigo set his jaw.

“Stop,” he says, and it’s quiet because he’s still so breathless, but Renji feels it like being stung by a bee, startling backwards.

“Stop?” he says numbly. “... But...”

“Stahh-” Ichigo slurs, “Stop,” he insists.

“Oh no,” Renji breathed. He's gone too far. “I… I didn’t think…”

Ichigo gave a weak shake of his head, swallowing again, throwing his forearm up to cover his sweaty brow. “No,” he pants, “Lemme’ rest.”

“... Ichigo?” Renji wonders, feeling unsure of himself again. He’d thought they’d both been really loving it, but maybe he was missing signs again.

“I didn’t know you were holding back this much,” Ichigo says, and he swallows again, and all of a sudden, his face screw up something horrible and he manages to turn a little, putting a hand up to cover the side of his face.

Renji gasps, frozen there for a moment in horror— _oh no—_ but then he breathes out, aghast, “Ichigo?... Why’re you crying?” He put a tentative hand to Ichigo’s shoulder and rubs.

“Renji, I’m sorry,” he says, and his voice doesn’t wobble, and he takes his hand away— his face is stony again, but his eyes leak. They leak and melt against his damp cheeks as he stares at Renji, his gaze hard and bitter. “I thought I could.”

“Ichigo,” Renji breathes, feeling _shaky,_ seeing him crying like that, he doesn’t think he ever has before— _He's really fucked up bad—_ “You don’t have to push yourself anymore,” he tries.

“I’m not!” Ichigo shouts in frustration, brow clenching harshly and his teeth gritting. "I just didn't expect your — what do they call it in pornos, what, unbound virility?" He put a hand to his chest, still winded. “My heart’s really racing,” he exhales. “I’m sorry, I promised to go along until the end, didn’t I. I was supposed to let you go all out for once.” He grimaces, looking worn out and disappointed.

“I’m not really enough on my own.” He grumbled, “I thought I could do it. I really wanted to be the one who could do that with you.”

“Ichigo, it’s fine,” Renji insists, because the way Ichigo was talking was spooking him. “I don’t wanna’ hurt you. If you don’t like it too, then how can I enjoy myself?”

“You got fed up because I’m acting like a sissy, right?” Ichigo accused, digging his wrists into his eyes roughly. “You don’t wanna’ see a guy crying like this.”

“Wha-haaat?”

“You thought when I told Grimmjow you didn’t satisfy me that I meant I wasn’t happy with how we were together, but in the end I’m the one who can’t satisfy you! I always knew you were never giving it your best and now I know why!” Ichigo shouted. “Because you knew you couldn’t go all out on me, you knew I couldn’t handle it!”

“No!” Renji denied, shaking his head— what the fuck, Ichigo, _what?—_

Resigned and bitter, voice like a diamond, hard and sharp but easily seen through— Ichigo said, “I can’t keep up with you, and you’ll get tired of me. I’ve known from the start it would happen.”

 

“I said I won’t!” Renji yelled, grabbing him and _shaking him, the fucking idiot, doesn’t he know he’s the only one he loves, he’s all Renji has—_ “Have you been worrying about this for all this time?! Have you thought I was comparing you to others or something?” Ichigo is tightlipped and stubborn, looking away, but that just works Renji up even more.

“Ichigo, you're looking at this all wrong! It's not something that you're just going to be instantly good at! Sex takes practice like anything else, and we’re supposed to figure it out _together!_ I thought we loved each other, so… so—! It’s not just regular sex!” he shouts, mad and a little flustered. “It’s supposed to be — _intimacy!”_

“Fuck you, don’t yell at me, I’m fucked up right now!” Ichigo burst.

And a tear runs over— And Ichigo hits him.

“Ow!” Renji hisses, lifting an arm to block, “Ow, ah, sorry!” Ichigo looked really miserable then, all his confidence gone, his glare softening into something pitiful, something just as hurt and insecure and _not good enough_ as Renji had felt before.

“Look,” Renji tried to comfort, “When I heard what you said I got so excited that I think I got ahead of myself, and I didn’t consider your feelings. Of course you're not gonna' be able to keep pace with me right away. But it's okay, it's not like we can't take breaks." He smiles, leaning his nose in towards Ichigo's, trying to coax him to stop looking so sad. "Besides, you wanted me to show you, didn't you?”

Ichigo looked up cautiously, still scrubbing under his eyes with his lip pouted out petulantly. “... So you don’t wanna’ stop?” he mumbled. “Even though I’m a huge baby?”

“No.” Renji smiled, stroking a hand along his arm, settling down next to him. “You take a breather,” he whispers, “and then we’ll keep going.” Ichigo gazes back at him, a hint of doubt still there in the crease of his brow, so Renji kisses him tenderly, with warmth and gentleness, and Ichigo slowly thaws. Their hands wrap together, the thundering beat of their hearts pounding through their chests.

“... Renji?” Ichigo mumbled once Renji had leaned closer to kiss his neck, to embrace him more closely.

“Hm?” Renji turns his head a little bit, their cheeks brushing together as he runs his lips on Ichigo’s ear.

“Thanks — I... I really love you,” Ichigo tells him, hesitantly, like he's afraid to be that vulnerable, to open himself up for ridicule and teasing. His lean arms clasp around his back, his chin resting in the dip of his shoulder. He holds onto him like he's going to push him away now that he's said that, and maybe it's because Renji had frozen up in silence at hearing those words.  
  


  _What the fuck did his heart just do, what is—_  
  


“Are you ready to go again yet?!” Renji practically begs, squeezing him tight. Ichigo starts to laugh. Renji smiles and closes his eyes and basks in the sound, hugging him.

“Hold onto me,” he whispers, and Ichigo cups his face when they kiss— and they make love like that, slow and firm, rolling together over and over—

 

    _‘Happiness—!’_


	8. Chapter 8

In the morning, Renji flips onto his back on the messy bed, staring at the ceiling with a hand on his stomach. Ichigo is contently curled up next to him, already awake and showered and dressed, but enjoying lying around with him.

“Huh,” Renji said.

“Wha’,” Ichigo hummed.

“I’m actually sore,” he noted.

“Me too.” Ichigo yawned and tucked his hands under his head. “My abs hurt.”

“All that clenching up in pleasure,” Renji teased, shooting him a side-eye and a dirty grin.

“Yeah yeah.”

“In the end, even though you got winded really easy, your refractory period is so fast that I could hardly keep up,” Renji considered. “Look at you, you really wore me out — and here you thought you were no good in the sack.” He reached an arm out and dragged Ichigo to his side, and Ichigo lets him.

“Pff’. I was still a total maguro most of the time,” Ichigo scoffed. Renji pressed their noses together, getting a snort and a laugh out of Ichigo.

“We’ll work on it together until we’re both experts. That’s what lovers do,” he said seriously — because it’s manly to be romantic!   “I’ll be in your care, so treat me nicely.”

“Same. Thank you for your patience,” Ichigo plays along. He gets up and pets Renji’s head, and he stays there and sighs and enjoys it, he loves having his hair played with, just lay him to rest right here, he never needs to move again—

Renji opens his eyes and looks up at him, giving him a fond smile.     _‘No matter what the circumstance, nothing will ever be a reason for me not to love you,’_ he thought deamily.   _‘Does he know that?’  
_

“Hey Ichigo.”

“Hm.” Ichigo cast him a suspicious look and stood up, gathering some of the rumpled bedsheets. “If you say we should go another round, there’s no way. My legs are like jelly.”

"No!" Renji laughed. “I didn’t get a morning kiss,” he complained. Ichigo gave him his usual deadpan stare.

“You’re too spoiled—”  But he does kiss him, on the cheek, and then the lips, letting Renji do as he pleased as always.

Renji grinned and Ichigo pinched him on the cheek, shaking him a little and huffing, unable to stop a smile of his own. Ichigo let him lay there undisturbed as he stuffed the sheets and blanket and mattress cover into a ball and made to take it to the laundry.  


“. . . So did I satisfy you?”

“I don’t know if that’s what I’d call it — I’m fuckin’ exhausted, I’ll say that.” Ichigo wouldn’t come out and admit it, but Renji grinned all the same.

“Good. Make sure that dickhead Jaegerjaquez knows it!”

“Renji, oh my god.”


End file.
